“You’re a language I’m no longer fluent in but still remember how to read.”- Ashe Vernon
My break up with the first and only man I have ever loved was one of the hardest things I have went through. Me, being the stubborn individual that I am, walked away from him when I witnessed him doing something unfaithful and never spoke to him again. With completely cutting him out of my life cold turkey, I had walked away from my first real relationship with no closure, so many unanswered questions, and a bitterness that ate me alive.
Recently, this person has made a brief appearance back into my life (my friends thought I was joking/went into shock when I finally told them that I saw him ). We finally had the dreadful talk about how we ended, apologies for mistakes that we both made, and laughs over good memories and funny moments we shared. After all this time, I finally got the closure I needed to end the last chapter of us.
While the news of us being in the same room was shocking to everyone else, the ease of being around him was what was a shock to me. I guess when you connect with a person on a deep level, some aspect of that connection will never go away. It was almost like my body was in autopilot mode and quickly remembered the things I had made myself block out when trying to get over him, such as the sound of his laugh, the scream singing/rapping on long drives, and how hard it was for my 5’4 self to keep up when walking next to his 6’5 frame.
After I got home that night, my mind was racing with questions and trying to process the wide range of emotions I felt in just one night. As I have now had time to process and really grasp the shock of seeing him in general, let alone actually speaking to him in such a deep way, my mind still has some questions. If you connect with an individual on a deep level, will that connection ever completely go away? Do I want it go away or do I need to believe that it is going to fade sometime in my life to love that deeply again?
-BrilliantlyAverage
Brilliantly Average 