“Do Not Mock A Pain That You Haven’t Endured.”

“Do not mock a pain that you haven’t endured.”- Unknown

Every single person we have ever encountered is either currently fighting a battle or has defeated a battle that no one knows about. Even if we are fighting the same battle, our experiences aren’t the same. Something that is a minor experience to someone may be the most traumatic thing another individual has ever went through. The thing we all have in common is everyone is just trying to make it to another day. Sometimes we are having to kick and claw our way out of the rabbit hole, and other times we are laughing and dancing on our journey. We have times that are joyous to go through, and there are times when getting out of bed is a triumph.

This holiday season, I have been especially aware to the things in our society that are considered “funny” or “normal” but could be so hurtful for any individual suffering. I saw Halloween costumes and t-shirts that mocked serious mental illnesses, and I heard stories of individual’s telling people to “get over” their anxiety and struggles surrounded seeing their family over the holidays and eating food at Thanksgiving.

Honestly, I was astonished. Partly at myself for not having this heightened of an awareness previously, but also because I am part of a society where this unfortunately exists. Are we so desensitized that we can’t stop to think about how this would make another individual feel? As I have said before, every single person has experienced something painful. I can say personally during my times of struggle, all I have wanted was to know that I was not alone and that I was going to make it through. And I know I’m not alone in that thinking. So why can we not offer that same respect to others? Because I guarantee if it was your loved one that was struggling and someone mocked it to you, your initial reaction would be to fight their words, educate them on how wrong they are, and be hurt by their lack of sensitivity to someone or something you care about. Because the thing that people forget the most is that no one just wakes up one day and says “I think I’m gonna develop an eating disorder, be depressed, or self-harm today.” Life, experiences, and situations shape us and there is always more to the story than what is shown on the surface.

Every time of the year, but especially during this holiday season, have compassion. Be aware of things that could be harmful to individuals and be proactive in helping your loved ones make it through. Don’t just tell them to “get over” whatever they are going through. Instead, be a listening ear to them and assist them in whatever way you are comfortable with. Because we have all been on the end of struggle, we know exactly what it is like to feel pain that is immense, and we should always have compassion for an individual experiencing pain.

-BrilliantlyAverage

“People Need to Be Encouraged.”

“People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in – told they are brave, and smart, and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream – and more. Remind each other of this.”- Stacey Jean Speer

In this day and age, our lives are so easily made public. Even if you are an individual who doesn’t have any form of social media (rarity, I know), the odds are that you are at least somewhere on the internet. It can be completely unintentional, like being in the background of a friend/strangers photo, or someone posting something without your knowledge.

With this massive rise in social media, it has brought out the best and worst in people. Unfortunately, we now face people on the internet posting cruel things that they would never say to someone else’s face, and people using their social media attention as a way to measure their worth. Don’t buy into it.

Now, I’m not saying this to take away from cruelty of some internet users and the damage that it can cause. My heart breaks for anyone who has been made to feel like they are inferior or ridiculed by anyone online. But sometimes we forget all of the positive aspects that social media has brought to the world. It has allowed family members to connect/reconnect from all around the world, it gives people an anonymous way to research outlets for help, it has brought awareness to amazing non-profit organizations like To Write Love On Her Arms (if you have no idea what this is, I ask that you please look it up), and it allows resources to explore the world further.

So let’s make a vow to use social media for the extreme good. If you see something struggling online, give them words of encouragement and love. If someone says something cruel to someone online, post a genuine compliment about the person underneath. Use social media as a way to explore your world, discover new dreams, and bring positives to the world. Because social media is not going anywhere anytime soon, but the influence we make can change the way social media is used for good.

-BrilliantlyAverage

If The Smallest Thing Is What You Accomplish Today, That Is Okay.

“If opening your eyes, or getting out of bed, or holding a spoon, or combing your hair is the daunting Mount Everest you climb today, that is okay.” – Carmen Ambrosio

For a period of time (longer than I want to admit), I was just letting life win. I was stressed, exhausted both physically and mentally, and questioning all the decisions I have made in life thus far. On one particular night, my step father looked at me in the kitchen with my red, puffy face from the many tears I had cried and said something to me very similar to the quote above.

These words were so refreshing and reassuring to a heart that was as heavy as mine. It reminded me that a day consists of millions of tiny triumphs, and accomplishing even the smallest thing is a stepping stone for the bigger things. Slowly, I began to start credit myself for the little things, like only having to hit snooze once in the morning when my alarm went off instead of twice, or starting an assignment one day earlier than I normally would have.

I truly believe this is the time period that my mindset started to turn around. Now, this does not mean that I do not have bad days where I can’t name a single positive thing or let life/stress win. But this did teach me that when my heart starts to get a little dark and feeling heavier than normal, it is time to look back at my day and remember the many little triumphs I accomplished. I may not have finished the huge assignment I really wanted to get done that day, got back a test that I studied my butt off for with a grade that I don’t think is good enough, and had struggles all day that tested my patience, but I did find my cat’s favorite toy, tell my mother I loved her, and got ready that morning in record time. And for now, that is enough.

-BrilliantlyAverage

“You Attract The Right Things When You Have A Sense Of Who You Are.”

“You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.”- Amy Poehler

I firmly believe your 20’s are a time that you are figuring out who you are, making “mistakes” (just mini life lessons that make us better people), and a time to experiment with our look, attitude, and ideas. This critical time period allows us to figure out the things that we love, things that we hate, things that we will never accept from others in a friendship/relationship, and how to be the best version of ourselves for others.

I am the type of person who is constantly scared of what other people think of me and strongly fear rejection/failure. Therefore, I am always too scared to try new things and new experiences in fear of judgment or being embarrassed. But as I stood at the top of this mountain, looking at the Arizona sunset with some of my best friends, I realized I was missing the entire point of existing in my 20’s.

Life isn’t about “being the best” or “never being judged or embarrassed” because those things are guaranteed part of life. Once you accept the fact that it will happen to everyone way more than once, it becomes a less scary thought. I have spent the early part of my 20’s watching other people try really cool things or have a really cool style I would want to try. Instead, I say things to myself like, “You couldn’t pull that off.” or “You have never tried that and you would suck and embarrass yourself.” But how do I actually know if I would suck or I couldn’t pull of that style? Maybe I will try a new experience and laugh at my awfulness and move on. Or maybe I will try something new and it will become a new passion/style of mine.

My point here is to try anything and everything whenever possible. And if you get judged, who cares. People will always talk about people and we can not control that. What we can control is the positivity, warmth, and openness out into the world in hopes that some of our light will encourage others to feel free enough to step out of their box and experience new things as well.

-BrilliantlyAverage

Genuine Interaction.

“Oscar Wilde once said that to live is the rarest thing in the world, because most people just exist, and that’s all. I don’t know if he’s right, but I do know that I spend a long time existing, and now, I intend to live.”-Robyn Schneider

Last night at a friend’s family gathering, I looked around this room full of people and noticed her grandmother sitting by herself in the corner. People were casually mingling and making small talk, but I just felt the urge to go over and start a conversation with her. I asked her about a present she had received and let the conversation go from there.

In the hour and a half conversation that followed, I learned that she had traveled to 27 states on the back of a motorcycle, went on a tour of Europe visiting multiple countries, loved tequila sunrises, playing card games, telling raunchy jokes, and making a pasta family recipe that had been passed down from generations. She said she got divorced at 45 and that is when she really started to live her life, and that I should never settle with anything in life if I am not 100 percent sure it is the right decision for me.

After the conversation ended, I kept thinking about how lucky I was to have this interaction with her because it made me wonder about all the opportunities I have missed because I simply did not make the effort. I watched her eyes light up with passion as she told me about her younger years, and hearing her experiences about traveling the world added to my desire of wanting to travel the world someday.

Moral of this story: Make the effort. Start a conversation with a stranger and really listen to what they say. Unplug from the surrounding world when interacting and put down your cell phone/social media. You will be amazed at what you can learn about an individual when you ask questions about them showing genuine interest. Learn from other people’s stories and let them inspire you.

-BrilliantlyAverage