A Person’s Energy and Perspective.

“A person’s energy and the aura they give off never lies. Trust in that.”-Unknown

I like to refer to myself as a “realist” rather than admitting that I naturally look at things as a pessimist. I tend to state facts and don’t get my hopes up so that I do not get disappointed. I am not the person that is the “dreamer” and I don’t set unrealistic expectations for myself and others. This can be a good and bad thing. Yes, I don’t get disappointed and that is great, but I also lose some of the “magic” in life.

That is why 3 months ago I decided that I was going to become a different person. I started “A Year of Adventures” where a friend and I were going to do adrenaline adventures once a month (from someone who was never an adrenaline junkie before, I am now hooked). But the most important thing I am working on is changing my perspective.

What I have learned is that the first thought you think is what you have been “trained to think”, either by your upbringing, your influences, or what you have trained yourself to think over time, and your second thought is the thought you have control over. For example, I hate tomatoes. My first thought when someone mentions a tomato is, “That is disgusting and it better not be touching my food.” But now I am making sure I always include a positive, second thought, like “I wonder if anyone at the table loves tomatoes? I should offer them mine so they can have double tomatoes on their salad.”

Forcing myself to take on a positive perspective constantly, even though it goes against my natural thought process, has honestly been one of the best things I have done for myself. It is harder than you think it would be if you are wired like I am. But the other day, the most amazing thing happened. My first thought about something came out to be positive instead of negative. In that moment, I knew that I was changing for the better.

So I challenge anyone reading this to find something that pushes you to be more positive/a better version of yourself, and do it. You will be in awe of how much your thought process and everything around you changes when your perspective and thought process start to change.

-BrillantlyAverage

“Search To Be Completely Human”

“I’m not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human.”- C. Joybell C.

 The time between Christmas and New Year’s is my favorite time of the year. I use this small window of time to be grateful for the blessings I have received over the holiday season and to recognize that a fresh start is occurring shortly. In this time, I really like to self-reflect on the “pits and peaks” of the year. I like to point out my accomplishments, disappointments, dreams, and significant events that have happened in the last year. I like to review how I have grown or regressed in all areas of life, and where I need the most improvement for the following year.

“New Year’s Resolutions” are a good thing in the sense that they motivate you to start something or to better yourself. The problem with most of these resolutions are that they start immediately and they do not allow the person to work into them. An example is always the traditional “lose 20 pounds diet” that requires you to give up every single thing you love to eat cold turkey on January 1st and never eat it again.

Instead, we need to have one major New Year’s Resolution with many “mini resolutions” underneath it. So instead of giving up every single food you love at one time on January 1st, maybe reduce it to diet soda only, than 2 diet sodas a day only, than 1 diet soda a day only, than no soda at all. By slowly allowing yourself to adjust and accomplish your goals, you are giving your body and mind time to adjust to the change rather than shocking it with such drastic measures.

If the idea of a “New Year’s Resolution” is to make you a healthier individual, than mental and physical health should be considered when deciding which goals are for you. Whether they are big or small, I applaud anyone who is willing enough to make steps towards being the best version of themselves that they can be.

 My New Year’s Resolutions: To do something completely spontaneous. Have less self-doubt and more confidence. Find the silver lining in most situations. To work towards being the healthiest version of myself mentally and physically. To work towards vulnerability not being associated with weakness but strength instead.

-BrilliantlyAverage

“You Attract The Right Things When You Have A Sense Of Who You Are.”

“You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.”- Amy Poehler

I firmly believe your 20’s are a time that you are figuring out who you are, making “mistakes” (just mini life lessons that make us better people), and a time to experiment with our look, attitude, and ideas. This critical time period allows us to figure out the things that we love, things that we hate, things that we will never accept from others in a friendship/relationship, and how to be the best version of ourselves for others.

I am the type of person who is constantly scared of what other people think of me and strongly fear rejection/failure. Therefore, I am always too scared to try new things and new experiences in fear of judgment or being embarrassed. But as I stood at the top of this mountain, looking at the Arizona sunset with some of my best friends, I realized I was missing the entire point of existing in my 20’s.

Life isn’t about “being the best” or “never being judged or embarrassed” because those things are guaranteed part of life. Once you accept the fact that it will happen to everyone way more than once, it becomes a less scary thought. I have spent the early part of my 20’s watching other people try really cool things or have a really cool style I would want to try. Instead, I say things to myself like, “You couldn’t pull that off.” or “You have never tried that and you would suck and embarrass yourself.” But how do I actually know if I would suck or I couldn’t pull of that style? Maybe I will try a new experience and laugh at my awfulness and move on. Or maybe I will try something new and it will become a new passion/style of mine.

My point here is to try anything and everything whenever possible. And if you get judged, who cares. People will always talk about people and we can not control that. What we can control is the positivity, warmth, and openness out into the world in hopes that some of our light will encourage others to feel free enough to step out of their box and experience new things as well.

-BrilliantlyAverage

Get Away To Refill.

“People empty me. I have to get away to refill.”- Charles Bukowski

Life is a beautiful thing, but that does not mean that it is not exhausting. People, situations, and the constant roller coaster of emotions required to live can drain the body. Our bodies can be completely exhausted either mentally, physically, or both simultaneously. Therefore, it is our job to recognize when we need to make time for ourselves to recharge.

This can sometimes be a hard thing for people to understand. I am constantly reminding the people I love that just because I want time alone does not mean that I am depressed. Sometimes, I simply just want to be alone and do not feel the need to justify that reasoning to anyone. I value my time spent with my friends and family, but I have found that I function better when I pencil in time for myself as well.

At the end of the day, we are all we have. In this life, I aspire to continuously grow and end my journey as the best possible version of myself. In order to achieve this outcome, I need to focus on everyone that I love, including myself. We have to get to the point where we are not scared to reflect on our thoughts, decisions, and actions. Making a decision once is a mistake, making it more than once is a choice.

I use my alone time as a reflection period. I allow myself to do whatever in that moment would make me the happiest. If I want to sing at the top of my lungs, so be it. If I want to take a nap, so be it. You are not required to validate these decisions to anyone but yourself.

-BrilliantlyAverage

Level of Respect.

“The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others.”

There is a certain level of respect you should demand from anyone you encounter in life. Before I explain further, let me make one thing clear. Arrogance should not confused for respect.

You have to set a level of respect that you hold everyone, including yourself, accountable to. Once this standard level has been established, it sets an example for how you will tolerate being treated, and identifies to others how you will treat them. There will be no surprise then when you don’t react in a certain way, or when you don’t continue any relationship with someone who doesn’t meet your standards. You deserve to be treated kindly, and to handle situations calmly without maliciously yelling the first emotionally hurting detail you can think of. Others also deserve that same respect from you.

Life is too short to waste time not respecting yourself or others. It is not an easy thing to figure out what you deserve, and there are moments in life when you think either yourself or someone else isn’t worthy of respect. The main thing to realize is how you react shows more about you than it does about another person. It really is better to be the bigger person. If you are looking for instant gratification, you may not agree with me on that. But establishing a level of respect for yourself and others can be so rewarding in the long run, and can help you gain more confidence than you can imagine.

-BrilliantlyAverage