The Day My Dream Came True: Elephant Edition.

“I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life but my life was never ordinary. I had simply failed to noticed how extraordinary it was.”- Ransom Riggs

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been fascinated with elephants. They are beautiful, loyal, gentle, and incredibly smart. I have dreamed of the farfetched day I would get to interact with one and witness their beauty up close and personal.

So you can imagine the emotions that go along with finding out this day was happening/my dream was coming true, actually going and interacting with the elephants, and the aftermath of it all. Basically, I was a weeping mess of tears for about 3 months, and I have tears falling again as I am writing this. I am so thankful for the opportunity I had and for the family members/friends that helped me make it possible.

(I wish I was joking about the tears, but here is actual photo proof. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. And yes, I also understand that I am an adult.)

I was blessed to fly to an AMAZING elephant conservation where these keepers truly love these animals as if they were their human family. While there, I got to learn about elephants, feed them, give them a bath (which the elephants actually smiled the entire way through they loved so much), listen to their constant “happy” screech noises, and take so many pictures. I learned that these elephants are basically big dogs that will do tricks to show off but mostly just like to roam the 60 acres of woods/lands.

(Feeding the cutest elephant named Patty)

(Patty was so happy during her bath that she was actually smiling and making this “happy” screech noise. The top picture was my surprise at how happy she was/how heavy her ear was!)

Even as I write this, I am currently sobbing in gratitude and awe of this day. We had so many things going against us, like only have 1 actual available day to fly to another part of the country to accomplish this and that 1 available day was supposed to be filled with thunderstorms/rain. But the day could not have been more perfect or have had more perfect weather.

Moral of this one: You are never too old for your dreams to come true and you’re never too old to stop dreaming. Fight for them, don’t give up on them, and constantly be searching in a stagnant world.

-BrilliantlyAverage

23 Things I’ve Learned At 23.

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.
It matters that you don’t just give up.”

Because it is my birthday month and I am turning 24, I can officially say that 23 has been one of the best and worst years of my life. It included accomplishing huge goals, such as graduating with my Master’s degree and accepting my first real job, and heartbreak over someone I thought I had already let go, which I can confirm hurts worse the second time. For me, 23 was this huge year of trying to figure out who I am, what I stand for, and what I expect in the people around me. Although I still have a lot more to figure out, I am not the same person I was at this time last year and that in itself is a victory. So here it goes..

1. Procrastination really isn’t the way to go.- Even though it seems better to do everything you want to do before your responsibilities, the task gets worse to accomplish the longer you wait until deadline to do it and the more stressed you become.

2. You can get your heart-broken more than once by the same person, and the second time tends to hurt a little worse.– Maybe it’s my pride saying this, but I let someone back into my life who I probably shouldn’t have, and the disappointment that they caused me was worse than the first time because I felt like I knew better than to let my guard down with them again.

3. It’s okay to let go.– Like really okay. You tried, it didn’t work, but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Pick up the pieces, learn from it, and try again with someone else.

4. You deserve the love and respect you think your best friend deserves.– This one is hard for me because I am such a fighter for the people I love. I think they deserve the world to them on a silver platter, yet I put up with things I would be angry at them for putting up with.

5. Have really big dreams, no matter your age, and never give up hope that they can come true.– It’s good to have a dream or a goal no matter what age you are. Fight for it, work towards it, and never give up the hope that one day it may happen for you.

6. Surround yourself with like-minded people.– The saying that “you become who you surround yourself with” is scary true. Find people that share your drive, your outlook on life, and want to accomplish the same things as you do. Then use their motivation to help you achieve yours.

7. Just because they are a lifetime friend doesn’t mean that they are a forever friend.– This realization has been one of the hardest things to swallow this past year. But just because someone has been your friend your entire life, or 22 years in my circumstance, doesn’t mean they get a special pass to treat you disrespectfully or in a way that you would not tolerate from another friend.

8. Hangovers get worse as you get older.- Yes, I had always heard this and I just chose to ignore it. Unfortunately, I can confirm it is true.

9. It’s okay to have no idea what you are doing or who you want to be.– I felt extra insecure during my 23rd year because I felt like I should have a handle on everything yet actually had no idea what I was doing. In reality, I realized that I was not alone and everyone is just really good at pretending like they have it together.

10. Who you are/what you have been is not permanent, for the past or future.– You can always change, for the better or for the worst. Keep that in mind as you are making decisions about your life.

11. It’s okay to be independent and not have to depend on anybody.– It’s nice to have some good friends and a great support system, but you don’t actually need them. You can do anything you set your mind to on your own.

12. It’s okay to cry and show emotion.– Ah, this one will always be difficult for me. But 23 is the year I have tried to tell people how I feel, ask for help when I need it, and allow myself to cry rather than bottle up my feelings.

13. You get one day to grieve it, then move on.– You get one full day to be sad about it, but then you gotta wake up the next day with a plan and put it to work.

14. Adventures are what life is about.– I am a person that hates change and loves structure. So this year, I have been challenging myself to push past my comfort zone and do things out of the ordinary. It is some of the best memories I have being 23.

15. Sometimes you just have to have faith and take a blind leap.– It is scary, overwhelming, exhausting, and you are guaranteed to get burned from time to time. Do it anyways.

16. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.– We are human and everybody needs some help sometimes. Be brave enough to ask for it and don’t suffer alone.

17. Running away from your problems makes them worse when you finally have to confront them.– Everything eventually catches up to you, and the higher the wall you build up the more time it takes to break it down and move on.

18. Tell the people that you love that you love them as much as possible.– Tell them you love them too much rather than not enough. Scary things happen, and you never want to wonder if they know how much you love and appreciated them.

19. Your parents/grandparents are getting older. And as much as you don’t want to accept it, it is still happening.– Make quality time to interact and hang out with them. You won’t regret it.

20. Having a “no technology” dinner with your friends is absolutely wonderful. -Before dinner starts, make everyone put their phone in the middle of the table. You get to spend real quality time together and get to live in the moment.

21. Travel as much as possible and embrace the sacrifices that need to be made to accomplish that.– When we are young is the best time to travel because we tend to have less responsibilities than we will have in the years down the road. So eat Ramen noodles for a month to travel someplace amazing because the memories and stories you will have will last forever.

22. You don’t have to attend plans/go somewhere just because all your friends are going.– Do things for you and not out of obligation. If you don’t want to go, don’t. And do not feel sorry about it.

23. “Me time” can actually change your life.– The best thing I ever did was recognize when I need time to “recharge” by myself and not feel guilty for taking it. In that alone time, I am able to reflect on who I am, what I want to be, and give myself some well needed pampering. I am a better friend, sister, and daughter because of this.

–BrilliantlyAverage

Seeing Someone’s Potential Can Skew Our Thoughts.

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”- Gloria Naylor

When you get to know someone on a deeper level, you lose the ability to see them as just a person, friend, or significant lover. Your perception of them becomes skewed once you can identify their potential and envision their dreams with them. The more you find out about someone’s story and identify traits that make them who they are, the more this vision can be skewed.

It’s why we can love people that don’t deserve us, it’s how someone can commit an unthinkable crime and at least one person on this Earth still unconditionally loves them, and it’s how we can hold on to something that we should have let go of a long time ago. It’s like, ” Yeah, they are being pretty crappy right now but this isn’t them all the time. “, “Their family thinks it is okay to lie about these kind of things so it isn’t their fault.”, or “They just don’t know how to deal with what’s going on the right way because ____.”

But if you really love someone and you see their potential, you have to hold them accountable to it. The best analogy I can think of is like when you are training a puppy to use the bathroom outside. You know the puppy has the potential to go to the bathroom outside because you have shown him the way and he has done it. So, it simply no longer becomes acceptable when he goes inside the house. You may scold him, punish him, watch him to make sure there isn’t an accident, or train him to use a bell to tell you when he needs to go. When he does the right thing, you praise him by recognizing that he has done something right, give him a treat, or shower him with affection. But because you love him and you have seen his potential, you refuse to let him consistently act in a way that is less than his best. Now, there will be accidents and slip-up moments where you show compassion when the puppy has a flu, but these things are the exception and not the standard.

The same should apply to the people we love. If you see someone’s potential and they are not willing to live up to it, then someone needs to hold them accountable. We are not doing any favors to the people we love by bottling up when they are not being the best version of themselves they can be and just letting them slip by. Unlike the dog analogy, we do not get to punish them or train them to do what we want when we want it, but we do get to bring their attention to their flaws in a respectful manner in hopes of inspiring them to make a change. But we can’t do it for them.  If someone consistently refuses to live up to their potential, what do you do? To a point, you fight for them and you believe in them and you be their constant in a world that gives up to easily. But there will come a point when the best thing you can do for them is to let them go.

Personally, I struggle with this guilt of feeling like I am the one that gave up or let go of something when I should have kept fighting for because I see the potential in the relationship and them as a person. But I have recently learned that it’s not giving up if the other person isn’t willing to put in the work that I am. I’m stubborn and strong and independent, but I’m a good friend, girlfriend, and I have the best intentions even in the moments that I make mistakes. And if someone isn’t willing to match me on my loyalty, honesty, or respect me enough to change what is wrong, then they gave up and I did everything I could. But I can’t dim myself down or lower myself to match their level, it’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to them.

-BrilliantlyAverage

“One Of The Greatest Love Stories We’ll Experience In Life Is With Our Friends.”

“The bond between a girl and her friends is a powerful thing. With all of the emphasis we place on finding the man of our dreams, I think far too many of us lose sight of one of the greatest love stories we’ll experience in life: The one with our friends.”

Being in my 20’s is a peculiar place to be in terms of friendships and relationships. We are at the age that some friends are starting to settle down, get married, and have babies. Other friends still enjoy going out constantly, are single or not in serious relationship, and have no plans for babies anytime soon. Or maybe you are the individual that is a mix of both groups.

I fit into the later group. Although I want to be married with a family in the future, I am not quite ready for that yet. But I am finishing up graduate school, which sadly means my weekends are limited and I am not going out like I used to. Whether you are like me or better relate to a different description above, there is a common theme that I think everyone can agree on.

With everyone’s priorities in life being slightly different, you start to see friendships changing. Friendships that were once before rooted on the idea of going out on weekends now consists of baby/wedding talk. Friends that you made to help keep you sane during your college days are now starting to slip away because you graduated and no longer live in the same city. Regardless of the shift in the dynamics of the friendship, you have to make the effort if they are important to you.

Friendships are easy to build and easy to lose. We can become so caught up in our own busy schedules that we unintentionally lose touch with the people around us. Life puts high demands on us and sometimes it seems impossible, but friendships will be what keeps your world spinning when everything goes wrong. And sadly, it will.

There will be at least one point in your life where you are going to be at your version of rock bottom, and your friends are the people who are going to pull you up. They will show you love when you believe you don’t deserve it, distract you from heartbreak, and hold your hand/wipe your tears through periods of grief. Without them, life will be unbearable.

So I challenge you to send a “thank you” text to a friend who has been there for you, go to dinner with a friend that has been neglected, or simply write someone a “thinking of you” post-it note. You will be amazed at the amount of good one single act of appreciation towards a friend can do.

-BrilliantlyAverage

Loving Someone Who’s The Ocean.

“I guess that’s the thing with loving someone who’s the ocean. You either stay and drown, or leave with water in your lungs.”

The hardest thing to do is be in love with someone and walk away. The worst thing to do is not walk away from someone who is an “ocean”. When I think of a certain “ocean” person I know, I used to describe his love by referring to the actual ocean. Like a current, so powerful and demanding that the determined current does not stop or start on any terms other than its own. And like the ocean, he could be calm, beautiful, and soothing with very few waves. But when there was a time that he could not control a situation or was not happy about the situation, he was a hurricane. Loud, destructive, terrifying, and manipulated anything in his path.

The real ocean is a beautiful mystery. We only know surface information about it and have so much more to learn. The same exact thought can be applied to people. We know a lot about the “surface” of someone, such as their appearance, voiced opinions, and the way they interact with other individuals when you are present. We do not know what makes them tick, their fears, and how they handle extreme stress or anger. If someone matters to you, figure that out. And quickly.

If you discover that someone in your life may be an “ocean”, leave. Just like the real ocean, we can still love it from afar. I don’t have to be at the beach swimming everyday to still admire and love it from my small town in the Midwest. And just like that, you can still feel certain feelings for someone but protect yourself by distancing from them.

-BrilliantlyAverage